


Don't Sit Down, 'Cause I've Moved Your Chair

by cryptidfuneral



Series: Dance Little Liar [2]
Category: Persona 4
Genre: Gen, Half of this is just Big List of Adachi's Bad Choices, Self-Harm, Souji Loves Animals, Trans Characters, headcannon riddled again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-01 05:39:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12149796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryptidfuneral/pseuds/cryptidfuneral
Summary: “You're a fuckin creep, kid.”





	Don't Sit Down, 'Cause I've Moved Your Chair

**Author's Note:**

> Pair fic for plastic tramp. Looks at the similarities between Souji and Adachi

When you're little, people act like when you do anything somewhat better than others, you're a prodigy. For Adachi, that something was being able to read at a college level in kindergarten, as if reading words on a page was really some difficult feat for the average kid. Nevertheless, his parents made a big deal about how he was special and put him in the “gifted and talented” classes. Gifted and talented soon became pre-advanced placement became advanced placement. Next thing Adachi knew his childhood was gone in a blur of studying till his eyes watered and getting books for Christmas and not making any friends in school. Now he's in college with thin hair, and a budding drinking problem that began in high school when he found out where his parents stashed their booze.

-

Having big shot parents is never fun. They never have time to play or go on trips or even sit down for dinner. Souji grew up with nannies as his parents. It got to the point where, in middle school, his parents wrote off whoever the nanny they had hired that year and the first emergency contact instead of themselves, his own parents. As a result, Souji grew attached to school. There he had friends and teacher he got along with, and clubs to participate in. While it didn't completely fill the lonely hole in his heart, it certainly helped.

-

It took years to come to terms with it, and honestly, Adachi never really did. Some days it seemed easier to just give up and accept being seen as a girl to others. Other days he'd be damned to be anything else but a boy. That's when he started cutting his own hair, around his first year in high school.

Also when the drinking started.

-

A good thing about his parents never being around was that he rarely had to hear “she” in reference to him. He had mostly accepting nannies, they'd all murmur about how it's a phase Souji was going through. Like, somehow, it was something he did to cope with his missing parents. Though that thought process made no sense, and he knew they were just humoring him, it was better than nothing.

-

College was like a breath of fresh air by his second year. While Adachi’s parents didn't know it (yet;they'd find out somehow eventually, and he knew that) he'd spent the money for him in savings on top surgery instead of schooling. He knew he wouldn't have to worry about it, since he kept such good grades in highschool, getting scholarships to make up for it was a cinch. No one knew him at the academy either, so he didn't have to fight anyone on “getting used” to treating him as a man when they think he’s one to begin with.

His luck ran out in the third year, however. As freeing as finally being comfortable with himself was, its fleeting relief when you have grades to maintain and worsening depression that you can't effort to get any sort of treatment for. Some days he can't get himself up to even work on homework he owes, instead leaving it to pile up on his desk. He know he'll regret it when he's racing to complete it at 5 in the morning the next day, yet he stays in place, staring sadly at the ceiling.

-

Souji’s friends slowly become his drive, somewhat. At least his drive to leave the house. Now even he's barely ever home, always out with someone, whether it be new or a friend he's already had. Looking back at it now, even though he spent so much time with them, they never felt close. He doesn't even remember their names. That's the problem he seems to keep facing,he'll reach out and make friends with others but he doesn't really imprint on them and nor do they on him.

He supposes maybe that's for the better, since he's being transferred to a new middle school. Maybe it'll hurt less to leave your friends if you were barely attached to them.

It doesn't. The hole that was torn in his heart from his parents absence as a young child only seemed to widen as the absence of his past friends settled in. Despite that, however, Souji just goes through the cycle again, soon making friends with the classmates around his desk.

-

After weeks of pushing it aside, under his desk, down into the crummy bottom of his weathered shoulder bag, and what felt like a 30 episode depression season, his calculus work was finally catching back up to him. Now he's running the risk of losing the second half of his scholarship next semester. Adachi feeds into his fear of failure as he leans against the desk in the corner of the professor's office, shirt unbuttoned a third of the way and his coat hanging off his shoulder like the sluts in the movies do it.

It wasn't his finest moment.

-

Schoolwork was another way to pass his time alone, so he was rarely behind. He excelled in all his classes, and even helped some kids who were struggling. It felt good to be helpful to others, like he had a purpose besides sitting at home and waiting for his parents. He started helping outside of school too, some days at the nursery home they brought in middle and high school kids to volunteer. When there was food about to go bad at home, he gave it to the stray animals outside instead of tossing it out.

Plus, he had his new friends. He remembers their names now. There was Yuki and Reyji and now there's Mark, a transfer student from america. They moved because of his mother, he told Souji during lunch. But whatever his mother did never stuck with him. Or even what they did club wise or liked. The cycle repeats itself.

-

Adachi’s got a job now, a damn good one too. It pays great and he lives in a nice apartment. He can afford nice meals and hormone pills, stuff he was only dreaming of in college. He worked hard to get here, and he deserved it, right?

Well, it doesn't matter what he thinks, the new kid who can analyze a motive with little to no evidence is all anyone in the office cares about.

He shouldn't have been surprised when the rug was tugged out from under him. Nothing good seems to last. The demotion notice sits on his counter as he packs away his belongings. It stares at him as he puts silverware in a box. His hand encircles a short knife, usually used to cut fruit. He intended to put it away, instead glaring at the patch of wrist that peeked out from his shirt cuff.

He'd done this before, once.Second year of high school. Dealing with how others around him treated him was too much that day, or something. He barely remembers his reasoning. But he vividly remembers taking his dad's pocket knife while he was out at work. He dug the blade into the top of his inner thigh lightly at first, then a deeper cut right under it. For a split second if felt like the world froze, before deep red began seeping out of the cuts. That's when it hit him what he'd done, and it scared him too much to ever do it again.

The memory shocked the knife from his hand, and it clattered against the linoleum floor of his kitchen. He falls back to the floor, the same fear he felt that night shaking up the hardened mentality he thought he had. His eyes burned, tears welling up. He curled up on himself and sobbed until his throat was hoarse.

-

Next year, Souji’s parents will be going overseas for a year long business trip, one of the nannies explains to him. Oh good, moving around again. Well, it's not like Souji wasn't used to it by now. Dad's job always had them moving. But it's probably why keep friends is so difficult. He starts to realize that as he gets older and becomes more reclusive because it starts to feel like it's just not worth trying any more. His first year starts in a month and he's not looking forward to it.

The nanny talking to him notices the visible shift in his expression. She offers to make him some tea, to which he agrees.

-

Moving in wasn't actually bad, and, sensibly, Adachi knew this. However, the growing levels of irritability bubbling inside him convinced him that this was one of the worst days he's ever had. The traffic, the cloudy weather, the stuffy apartment he has to call home now; All of it just seemed to worsen his mood.

-

It's the first day of Souji’s first year of high school. He stands in front of the class with a distant look as its his turn to introduce himself. The students in front of him have just as much enthusiasm as he did presenting himself. He sits in the back corner and keeps to himself for the rest of the day.

Despite how boring his day was, since he still has one more year before moving for a bit, he still was able to keep some of his volunteering jobs. Now he works at the animal shelter. Seeing the animals everyday was something he could look forward to. And it seemed he can actually remember them. Their names, what kind of food they like, their personal quirks. It was refreshing after spending so many years feeling like he couldn't successfully get close to anyone.

-

The new job was alright. Didn't keep Adachi nearly as busy as his old one, leaving him lots of time alone. Just him, whatever amount of beer and snack food is in the apartment at the time, and the thoughts his drunken state conjures up. Sometimes he stares at his phone, contemplating whether or not to bother Dojima. The sliver of sensibility he has left always trumps the feeling, however. What would you want him over for. It's late, go to bed.

\---

Souji moves again in a week. He's moving to a small town named Inaba, and will be living with his uncle for the year. Admittedly, he was looking forward to it. I would be nice to get away from the city for awhile. Though he was going to miss all the animals at the shelter.

-

Adachi sat alone in his apartment as usual, trying to pinpoint what had caused his sudden power. The TV screen buzzed salt and pepper colors at him, providing no explanation. In his as usual drunk state, he had half the mind to just accept it, maybe it could come in handy.

He tries to remember anyway. Nothing off happened in his life recently, no near death experiences or alien abductions occurred...that he was aware of, anyway. The only odd thing he can think off was the day ye met that gas station attendant, that acted like Adachi was new here still and hadn't been here for over a year already as the told him about the town.

-

Souji’s uncle, Dojima, makes a pit stop at the gas station before they make it home. Deciding it was a good time to get a nice stretch in since his long train ride, Souji exits the car. Almost immediately, as if leaving the car summoned them, a strange looking worker approaches him. Souji’s too tired to fully engage in the conversation, he only responds to physical language. Which is why he grabs their hand to shake it without second thought when they put it out to him.

He just assumes his fatigue is what causes the headache.

\---

It just wasn't fair. Adachi finally had a place he liked to be that wasn't his own apartment (though, he didn't really like it, but it was his), finally found someone he liked to be around. Now whenever someone remembered to invite him over anymore, it's always Souji this, Souji that.

Adachi wants Dojima and Nanako to think of him as often as they think of that bowlcut brat again.

\---

Souji easily wormed his way into the hearts of everyone in town. He's the helpful one. The nice one. To some kids in school, the hot new one. It was comfortable being like this, when he's living in the moment. When he goes home all he thinks about is how everyone's faces blur together and names don't exist anymore.

This is why it's best to stay quiet, some days he genuinely can't remember who is who, accept maybe his close friends. Well, close is a heavy word. They're just the ones who cling to him most, like how electricity attaches a balloon to your hair. But he remembers them for the most part, at least.

\---

Adachi was lucky that his drunken fury turned his writing into worse chicken scratch than usual. At least if Dojima got ahold of it, he wouldn't recognize the handwriting. That's the hope anyway, and that's what placates Adachi’s numbed mind as he folds up the paper and sticks it in an envelope. He slips into his shoes and grabs the nearest jacket before heading out to deliver it.

\---

As the year progresses, Souji becomes a bit more confidant in his friendships. The ones he's created with the Investigation Team, that is. Recently during a sleepover at the Inn, regular rowdy conversation quickly because a tear jerking feelings jam as quickly as the time shifted from nine pm to two am. He came out to them then, the first friends he's ever told. Though only a few were awake to hear it, it still felt nice to get it out. Yukiko speaks first, “I-I am, too. Only Chie knows what I looked like before I started buying girl clothes,” she finishes with a light laugh.

Chie joins her laughing. “Yeah! Remember when I begged you to let me have your old boy clothes cause I hated what my mom would buy me?”

Souji listens to them reminisce about them growing up and having each other in a happy silence.

\---

Adachi stares into his fridge, looking over piles of tupperware and the one case of beer shoved into the back. The plastic containers were filled with food from a certain someone that he doesn't want to think of right now. Or ever, for that matter. He closes the door and heads for the cupboard instead. Anything he can afford to eat is in here, namely cheap snacks and the box of ramen he digs into.

While waiting for the ramen to finish cooking, he grabs a can of beer from the fridge. With a hiss it cracks open, and Adachi stares at the top of it. He remembers the last time he had a check up and his doctor warned him about his weight. How the sudden large alcohol intake and stress and disordered diet and getting older and what seemed to be worsening depression caused the weight gain. ‘Thanks, doc! Just what I needed, more dumb shit to be thinking about.’

-

The IT tracked down Namatame in one day, despite Rise’s worried protests. Everyone could see the burning determination and anger in Souji’s eyes. It was almost frightening. When they finally reached him, holding Nanako in his thin arms, going on about how she needed to be saved. Despite the look on his face, Souji remained mostly calm as he tried to talk the man down.

But he wasn't having any of it. Shadows swarmed him, the air shifting into a heavy atmosphere as a caricature or a savior erupted from the fog.

-

Adachi sits alone on the lone bench in the hallway that held Dojima’s room. He's here to make sure Dojima doesn't leave his bed again. Not out of some guilt he was definitely not feeling, or some regret, or some other feeling that he doesn't want to acknowledge because it's a little too late for it.

“It's his fault.”

-

Though it's never happened to him, Souji assumed this realization manifesting in his head that night in the Aiya was what getting hit with a rock from behind was like. Or maybe his encounters in the tv were a better analogy, though those were never really sudden, you could see them about to hit.

But he never saw this, or so he thinks. As he runs down to the hospital his times with Adachi replay in his head, and like light through the cracks the hints of the truth begin to make themselves known.

-

“We aren't so different… growing up alone. Feeling like...an outsider to others because we aren't like them. But I lived through it because I had bonds. It's not too late for you. Turn yourself in.”

“You're a fuckin creep, kid.”

 

 


End file.
